You’ve worked really hard to be a good lead/follow and you have been eagerly anticipating a dance with someone. This person is a great dancer – you have seen it with your own eyes and have heard about their skills. You finally get them on the dance floor and…disappointment! You don’t gel with the dancer. Why??? They look great with everyone else. Is it you? Is it them?

Yes it could be you or them. Maybe this person is a great stylist but not a great leader/follower. They could look great because they have the body movement, flare and style to enhance any dance. However leading/following habits are separate skills and you can be great at one and not so great at the other. That is why sometimes you will dance with someone expecting them to be a beginner and end up being pleasantly surprised by their skills – because maybe the leading/following is a lot stronger then their styling skills.

So yes it could be you or them. But more likely it is just a simple case of chemistry (or lack thereof). Some people you just click with on the dance floor. They may not be at your level, you may not even personally like them, but on the dance floor it is magic. Others, you just can’t get it right, no matter that you are friends or that you look good together or any other qualifying aspects. I guess it is similar when it comes to choosing a partner off the dance floor. Chemistry is very personal and there is no rhyme or reason.

Will this change with enough practice with that person? Maybe. My experience is that those I don’t gel with I almost always will never be able to gel with in the future. The only exception is if I wasn’t matched skilled-wise with the person and then either he or I was able to catch up and then we could dance well together. However this scenario is not about chemistry – it is about being on the same playing field.

I am sure you have all had instances of chemistry failure – please share!