How to change your reputation
“If you want people to see you differently, then show up as the person you want them to see.” – Aleks
As a kid, I always struggled with all the different ways people saw me. A nerd, too nice, chubby, sweaty palms guy, can’t dance and the list goes on.
The mistake I that I always make is blaming my friends and family for how they saw me.
Here is a recent moment when I learned the right lesson.
My mentor decided to bring together some amazing entrepreneurs from different industries under his roof.
We would spend the next 3 days from morning to evening, learning from each other, giving advice where we could, and networking.
The first day started with all of us being in the ‘hot seat’.
I decide to go first and I had 1 hour to share my business problems with the group.
I’m nervous, but prepared, as I was ready to ask for advice on marketing and how to scale my business.
However…when everyone looked at me, I don’t know why…but I started to get emotional.
“Why is it so hard to be an entrepreneur? When will any of this get easier?”
My voice began to shake as I completely forgot about my original questions.
“I’m just so tired, I feel like I am never enough. What am I supposed to do?”
Everyone was surprised, caught off guard as I began to pour my heart out.
As I continue to talk and share, I get nothing but love and support, unfortunately, there was a major consequence.
As the day continued, everyone began to treat me as this delicate little flower.
Every time I would say something that seemed negative or self-deprecating, all the entrepreneurs would jump at the chance to give me therapy.
Whenever I would talk about building a massive dance school with over 100 locations, someone would come up and ask me:
“Are you sure, would you even enjoy that life?”
By the second day, I am getting annoyed because no one is taking me seriously.
I am not just some guy who cries…that’s me 5% of the time.
I am trapped by this version of Aleks they see and I can’t seem to break out of it.
So the next day I made a decision and walked up to one of the entrepreneurs I admire.
“Hey listen, I am going to teach you and everyone how to dance at my school tonight. After the lessons, can you tear apart everyone I do and give me feedback?”
He was caught off guard and then said “Are you sure?”
My face turned red “Yes, very, can you do that.”
I saw this flash of frustration, surprise, and curiosity in his eyes.
“Alright man, you asked for it.”
That night I taught him and the others how to dance Merengue and It was honestly one of the best dance lessons I have ever done.
Later in the evening, I got exactly what I wanted.
As we gathered around a campfire at my mentor’s place, everyone first started by praising me.
“Wow Aleks, honestly, you did amazing.”
“Yes man, it was super fun.”
I was ignoring all the praise and the guy I challenged could see the huner as I said
“How can I do better”
Well let me tell you, they gave me an earful. Not only my blind spots as a dance instructor but also as an operator of my dance school.
It was an incredible feeling, to be seen exactly in the way I wanted them to see me.
All I had to do was just show up as that person and their view point caught up.
Sometimes it takes a day sometime it may take years for others to see you differently.
You can’t control how people see you, all you can control is how you show up.
“If you want people to see you differently, then show up as the person you want them to see.” – Aleks
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