The Love We Often Miss: Understanding Love Languages

Ah, family! The ones who’ve seen us at our best, our worst, and every awkward phase in between. Speaking of family, let me tell you about my big bro. He’s nine years my senior and has always been my knight in shining armor. From shielding me from bullies to teaching me the coolest tricks, he’s been my go-to guy. But, as time went on, I felt like we were drifting apart. Or maybe, just maybe, we never truly understood each other.

Recently, I made it a mission to reconnect. Every phone call, no matter how trivial or heated, ended with me saying, “I love you, man.” And every time, his response was a casual, “Okay, cool” or “Talk to you later.” It was like trying to get a cat to jump into a bath – nearly impossible and slightly frustrating.

I had this whole heart-to-heart planned out, you know? A conversation sprinkled with emotional intelligence and understanding. But when the moment came, what blurted out was more akin to, “Dude, why don’t you say you love me back?” Yep, not my finest moment.

His response? “Why do I need to say it? I show it.” And boy, did that spark a massive argument. Yelling, and cursing ensued that was only broken by our mom getting involved. The car ride ended in silence, punctuated only by the sound of the car door slamming.

But here’s the twist. A week later, he called, checking in on me, and offering help in his own way. And it hit me – he was showing love in his language, not mine. If you’ve ever come across the concept of the five love languages, you’ll know they include acts of service, quality time, gifts, physical touch, and words of affirmation. For me, words matter. But for him? It’s all about actions.

I’d been so fixated on hearing those three words that I’d missed all the ways he was showing his love. It’s like waiting for a text when someone’s been sending you handwritten letters all along.

So, here’s the nugget of wisdom I took away: Love isn’t about hearing it the way we want but recognizing it in the ways it’s given. If you ever feel starved for affection, maybe it’s time to look beyond your own love language and appreciate the myriad ways people show they care. After all, love is multifaceted, and sometimes, actions truly speak louder than words.

Click here to check our current schedule.

If you have any questions you would like me to answer there are many ways you can contact me: message me on Instagram (torontodanceSalsa), on Twitter (#torontodanceSalsa), on Facebook (Toronto Dance Salsa) or email me at [email protected]