Fairy tales grant wishes but a resolution can make your dreams come true.
There are two camps of people as the New Year approaches. In one camp are people who look forward to January. It is a brand new year, a new start, a clean slate. The possibilities are endless. They will get more fit, they will eat healthier, they will get a better job, get out of a toxic relationship – whatever they wish it all seems possible in a fresh, new year.
In the other camp are people who say “I don’t believe in resolutions. Resolutions don’t work. I don’t ever make them.” These are the people who tried in the previous years, but nothing ever stuck. So they got tired of making promises and breaking them.
I have been in both camps.
In my early twenties, I was definitely in the first camp. “I’m going to do more push-ups. I’m going to go to the gym. I’m going to get healthier.”
Later on, I was definitely in the second camp. “I’ve made resolutions in the past and I stick with it for two or three weeks and then I break them. Maybe resolutions work for other people, but it is not for me.”
What I’ve learned is that we confuse resolutions with wishes.
I started to realize this about four years ago when I woke up, slid my legs out of bed and was already breathing heavily. My body felt off. I looked down and for the first time, I noticed my giant belly. I kind of frowned and I got up and I walked – no, I’ll be honest – I waddled to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and I was disgusted by what I saw. I saw this bloated, corpse of a person. You know in CSI: Miami when Horatio Caine would pull off his sunglasses and say those one-liners like “This corpse had enough time in the sun.” You know what I’m talking about!? That’s what I saw – a bloated, disgusting-looking corpse- puffy face, dark circles under my eyes. I stepped on the scale and my weight was 196 – almost 200 pounds! And I got scared.
I had never been this heavy. I was shocked. I walked out of the bathroom, looking for what caused this and I saw it. Bags of unfinished McDonalds, boxes of unfinished pizza, boxes of unfinished donuts, piles of junk food from just one week. This scared me even more, how far I let myself go. Disgust came over me next, not just fear…WTF ALEKS!!!
A combination of disgust and fear lead me in that moment to gather all the garbage and throw it out. Immediately, I got out my phone and found an app that counts calories and said; “I’m changing today. That’s it.”
And I remember that feeling because that was a decision I made. I didn’t have a plan, I didn’t have to think of anything. I simply made a decision. “I cannot be here anymore. I cannot have this body anymore. I cannot have this belly anymore.” That wasn’t a wish. I wasn’t figuring out which diet to follow or that next week I will start. It was a resolution – get started – do something today.
And that’s what I want to leave you with today, fam. We often confuse our wishes – our would likes – with actual resolutions and decisions. When you resolve to do something, the change starts NOW. It is a shift. You take a step towards it NOW, it doesn’t matter if it’s big or small.
So if your resolution is to change jobs then you start applying for new jobs, you start upgrading your skills so you can get the job of your dreams. Wishing for a new job won’t make it happen. Wishing to be more healthy when gyms open up, be more fit when you get that new fancy exercise bike…etc…it won’t make a difference.
What’s one decision you are going to make after reading this newsletter and how will you take a step towards it today?
Resolve is a decision, It is an action you take, it is not a wish. Fairy tales grant wishes but resolutions can make your dreams come true. So let’s all make more decisions.