Is Dancing Bachata with Someone Else Cheating?
The short answer is no, dancing Bachata with someone else isn’t cheating. Nor is dancing Bachata a Sin. But I’m here to help. Whether you dance Bachata and your partner is not comfortable with you dancing with others or it is your partner who dances Bachata, there are ways to make you both feel comfortable. After years of dancing and being in relationships with dancers and non-dancers, I would like to offer three tips to help you honour yourself and your partner.
Talk to Your Partner.
In every relationship, communication is critical. What would be considered cheating for each of you? There is emotional cheating and physical cheating. So if your partner is the dancer and you’re not, and they are going out dancing, my biggest suggestion is to evaluate the situation. Jealousy may be the real cause of discomfort. It’s you waiting to feel more secure within a relationship with your partner. Your needs are probably valid, and although it is not wrong to feel that way, keep in mind that it does not mean your partner is doing something wrong.
I’ve been there. I’ve been the jealous guy about my partner, and it caused trouble in our relationship. But, on the other hand, Bachata can become very intimate. So if you are the dancer and your partner is not comfortable with you dancing Bachata, it is essential to have an open conversation about your comfort levels and where to draw the line between what is acceptable and what is not.
So when I am in a relationship, my approach is to tell my partner that when I’m with her, dating her, I’ll dance Bachata. But I’ll avoid things like grinding, dancing too close or having my leg between my dance partner’s thighs. That is my comfort zone regarding this matter. It might be different for you. I know many couples who dance however they want with other people, but it’s just completely different when they’re together. So having the conversation and acknowledging that there are no right or wrong feelings and honouring that is extremely important.
The notion of loyalty, faithfulness and cheating awakens many emotions and can be complicated waters to navigate for a couple. For some people, anything and everything could be cheating.
A vital aspect of this conversation is understanding intimacy. What is intimacy? How does it look when you are intimate with someone? Where is that line? Ask yourself these questions, and then compare notes with your partners’ answers. This exercise can be an interesting one to understand the feelings and reactions caused by a Bachata dance. But remember that dancing Bachata with someone else is not inherently cheating. It is up to you and your partner to decide on boundaries.
Agree on the Bachata Style You Will Dance.
There are three main styles of Bachata practiced in North America there is Modern, Dominican and Sensual Bachata. Sensual Bachata, as the name implies is a more intimate style. Therefore, the best way to limit the feelings of discomfort is to talk in advance about what dance style is acceptable within your relationship.
In our school, we teach modern Bachata. Of course, there is nothing wrong with Sensual Bachata, but it is not my preference when teaching my students. Likewise, you will see the modern Bachata style in most clubs where you do turns, tricks, and dips. You can be close to your partner but not to the point that there is excessive grinding.
So again communication is key. Talk with your partner about what you are both comfortable with. Maybe for you dancing Modern or Dominican Bachata with someone else is not considered cheating but dancing Sensual Bachata is considered cheating. It depends on you and your partner.
Set Rules for Yourself and Pay Attention
As a dancer, I’m steadfast in my rules, and there are lines that I will not cross. If I find I am becoming too comfortable dancing with someone, so that it is beyond friendship, I pull back. I find rules are a way to be free, not constricted, because, within those rules, you get to play but not feel guilty or overwhelmed.
Having rules is especially useful for relationships where only one person in the couple is a dancer because this type of relationship might face misunderstanding more often than when both partners are dancers.
You’ve probably figured out the theme of this article, which is having open conversations will help a couple avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Setting clear boundaries and expectations will allow you to enjoy dancing with friends and strangers without offending your partner.
As humans, we have insecurities. Sometimes, we want attention from the person we love, which does not make us needy. Sometimes we want the freedom to do what we love, which does not make us inconsiderate. But dance should not be a reason to fight. Bachata, like all Latin dances, is a beautiful practice about connection and can strengthen a couple. It’s about approaching your partner, understanding their needs and expressing yours. Bachata dancing with someone else is not cheating any more than any other style of dance. You just need to communicate with your partner and know the rules.
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