Its an odd coincidence that life throws some times. At the moment that Sandra was thinking of the phone call, Emilio was thinking of her as well. Through the years he had been able to control his emotions towards their past. He understood what they had been and why things unfolded as they did. His experiences with Sandra had actually made him a better person, a person that understood relationships better. He was grateful to have been with Sandra, to have learned from the relationship and, in a strange way, he was grateful that those experiences were making his current relationship with Stella so amazing. But now, in a moment that filled him with a sense of guilt, he found himself reflecting on the confusion and despair he felt after the breakup. At that time all he wanted was an answer as to why and a chance to make things the way they used to be.
I can’t be strong, I just can’t because you’re not here.
I fake smiles, and even the wind hurts against my skin.
The jokes I learned with you no longer make me laugh.
The cold stings and the hours kill me.
It seems that you took my world with you.
I try different paths but they all take me to the same familiar ones.
There’s nothing that can erase you from my mind, not even for a minute.
I have so much sky but I’m like a lost bird.
Missing you!
I spend my time missing your kisses and your gaze.
Missing you!
I’ve just been missing you since the day you left.
That seemed so long ago and it had been 5 years yet there were still times, even against his best efforts, where these feelings came flooding back. Never as strong as the first time but still strong enough to sense the old scar. Of course, as chance would have it, Sandra was also thinking back to the time after the breakup, but with a different twist.
It had been different for her. She knew she had to end it, the surprise had passed. Its not that she wasn’t caught off guard by her realization it was just that when it did happen she was at a different stage in her healing. She didn’t want to go back to the way things were, a sentiment that filled her with some sadness but the appropriate feeling nonetheless. She cherished what her and Emilio had shared but was not about to let it keep her from living the rest of her life. It was interesting to her because she knew that Emilio had never understood how she had ‘moved on’ so quickly after a long relationship. The truth is that had she been in his shoes, she likely would’ve felt the same way. She only hoped that with time he had grown to understand that. His attitude towards her told her that he had but that he still felt the pain from time to time. Still, at the time she remembered the pain that hearing his sorrow caused her. Every plea from him was a knife to be unwillingly wielded by one against the other. The sorrow in his voice pained her and the inevitable rejection by her further deepened his sadness.
Don’t ask me for forgiveness, please, I’m as guilty as you.
We’ve both lost the sky and our smiles.
Don’t ask me for forgiveness, please, don’t you see our effort was in vain?
The sea became angered and my boat sank to the depths.
To accept that life is different,
Everything changes when love leaves.
The emptiness you feel in your soul cannot be filled by any heart.
Don’t ask me for forgiveness, please, I’ve sinned just like you.
Every time we try again it ends in tears.
The way in which you ask me does not make any sense.
It’s like asking the Earth to stop rotating around the sun.
Don’t ask me for forgiveness, please, let’s understand it’s all over.
You and I have hurt each other so much that I can’t anymore.
Don’t ask me for forgiveness, please.
Don’t ask me to get back with you.
Don’t ask me again.
If you want to be my friend wait while I think about it more.
Don’t ask me for forgiveness, please.
Don’t ask me to love you again, you can’t be my love again.
Don’t ask me again.
If we meet each other one day it may be best not to speak.
Don’t ask me for forgiveness, please.
There’s no reason to ask me to love you again.
Don’t ask me for forgiveness, please.
Don’t call me again when you need someone to kiss.
Don’t ask me again.
You know I have a new love and I cannot love you.
What do you want me to do if I can’t love you?
I just want to get away.
Don’t ask me for forgiveness, please.
I’m guilty just the same as you, we’ve both lost the sky and a smile.
The feelings were of annoyance, despair, guilt and a longing to move on. Not meant to be cruel but to encourage the process of healing for the both of them. In the end Sandra had decided that whether or not Emilio heeded her advice, she had to move on for her own sanity. In time he’d understand.
As Emilio broke his thoughts he reached for the phone. He figured it was time to see what Sandra wanted…
Sandra’s nostalgia was broken by the sound of her phone ringing…
Sigan bailando!
ps. I apologize for the cheesiness of the videos but I want you to know what the songs sound like, as it plays to the feeling of the moment.
